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4.9 ★★★★★
Based on 23 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Amazing
Format: Paperback
It’s very academic—what I mean by that is that if you need to be well-educated in psychology to GRASP *everything*… I am not well-educated in psychology (I minored in it and love reading easier books on it), but I LOVE this book. This woman is brilliant
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Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2024
★★★★★ 5
one of the best books I’ve read
Format: Kindle
This book is transformative in how I view everything. There are two categories: people who need to read this book and people who need to read it again.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2023
★★★★★ 5
Started w/ audiobook, now I'm ordering the print too
Format: Paperback
This book is GREAT!! The integration of theory she uses to support her claims is masterful. I began listening to the audiobook, because it was cheaper & I go through a ton of counseling & psych books. I am a grad student in social work, and I'm also a therapy client trying to heal myself.
I appreciate that this book targets "chronic shame" which as a central experience to a bunch of issues. The hundreds of books and articles I've researched seem like they were mostly ALL working back to this issue.
In a psychology culture that is big on cognitive and chemical solutions to mental health, the relational approach that she emphasizes is critical to the healing process. I appreciate the research she uses from object relations, affect regulation, interpersonal, etc. I purchased the hard copy because 1. I can't underline/highlight an audiobook and 2. I want a copy of the references of theorists and study's that she draws from, because they are pure gold.
All therapists need to understand the contents of this book! Unless you are perfectly fine offering band aid solutions. Clients and self-helpers beware. It's not triggering in terms of content, it is activating in the sense that she describes the felt experience of shame SO WELL. I could locate my own felt sense of shame which is, by default, unpleasant. Some stabilization and a decent therapeutic connection is probably necessary before cracking this book open. But that's why I love it. I needed to go deeper and get the core issues. And this book is like a map that guides you right to it.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2025
★★★★★ 5
A must read.
Format: Audiobook
The best book I have read in a very long time. Transformative. I am slowly processing my new understanding of my relational trauma so well detailed in this book.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2024
★★★★★ 5
Critical read
Format: Paperback
We read this for a class in grad school and it's something I reference back to time and again. Really important read and will be something I reference often.
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Reviewed in the United States on July 20, 2024