SKU: 31144937105

To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma

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To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern DilemmaA clinical psychologist's exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of wellbeing. And though she had the benefit of a

A clinical psychologist's exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood

When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of wellbeing. And though she had the benefit of a supportive husband during this transition, she also at times resented the fact that the disruption to his life seemed to pale in comparison to hers.

As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event. But without the advantage of such a perspective, many of the patients she treated in her private practice grappled with self-doubt, guilt, and fear, and suffered the dual pain of not only the struggle to adjust but also the overwhelming shame for struggling at all.

In To Have and to Hold, Molly explores the complex terrain of new motherhood, illuminating the ways it affects women psychologically, emotionally, physically, and professionally--as well as how it impacts their partnership. Along with the arrival of a bundle of joy come thorny issues such as self-worth, control, autonomy, and dependency. And for most new mothers, these issues are experienced within the context of an intimate relationship, adding another layer of tension, conflict, and confusion to an already challenging time.

As Molly examines the inextricable link between women's well-being as new mothers and the well-being of their relationships, she offers guidance to help readers reclaim their identities, overcome their guilt and shame, and repair their relationships. A blend of personal narrative, scientific research, and stories from Molly's clinical practice, To Have and to Hold provides a much-needed lifeline to new mothers everywhere.

--Amy Mandeville O'Meara, WHNP, DrNP, AGNP, author of Maternity, Newborn, and Women's Health Nursing

Binding Type: Hardcover
Publisher: Harper Wave
Published: 03/26/2019
ISBN: 9780062838650
Pages: 288
Weight: 0.90lbs
Size: 9.20h x 6.30w x 1.00d

Review Citations: Library Journal 12/01/2018 pg. 84
Publishers Weekly 12/17/2018
Kirkus Reviews 12/15/2018
Booklist 01/01/2019 pg. 22
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SKU: 31144937105

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Tiffany
Bozeman, US
★★★★★ 3
Okay
I like that it fits my umbrella well, hinges open for easy application and removal, and that it has enough light for us to see our food at night. I do not like that half of the outer lights do not work part of the time until I take out the batteries and swap them around. Fine enough for the price, not worth the hassle of returning.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2025
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Flnative
Massapequa, US
★★★★★ 5
Perfect!
Lightweight and easy to use! Love the three light settings.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 27, 2026
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Mary M.
Chelsea, US
★★★★★ 5
Easy to use.
Works well. Light is bright. Our new patio umbrella does not have e a center pole, so the lights get somewhat blocked. But still pretty useful.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 5, 2026
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Amanda Ostrom
Omaha, US
★★★★★ 5
Easy portability & Strong umbrella support
Size: 19inch
Its exactly as advertized! Pros: • rolls well • medium sized (not a tripping hazard & corner fit under the edge of all my furniture) • holds tall (through center of table) umbrella while open in minor wind with water-filled option. • multiple size umbrella pole insert included • Clear instructions. • easy to use brakes (on 2 wheels for security...4 wheels would be annoying to use every day) Cons: • will still roll with brakes on with a little force when I'm being lazy...it should not be this easy (I usually have a corner of the stand tucked under a piece of furniture anyways) • I would call this "light heavy duty" rather than "sturdy heavy duty" with water-filled option. I'd imagine sand + water as suggested would actually be heavy duty. • re-design suggestion: base of umbrella could extend down below the water tank for sturdier hold, but this is the best I've found.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 19, 2026
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Roger
Birmingham, US
★★★★★ 5
Good buy
Size: 19inch
Filing it with sand (50 lbs) was a very slow process, but I got it done. The wheels are very convenient for moving the umbrella around, and the wheel locks seems to work well. So far I'm quite satisfied with the base.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2026

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